Hi Sebastian – your story earned 142 points out of 168. That’s about 85% percent.

As usual, I am impressed with your ability to tell a story clearly and succinctly. Visually, this is a very clever piece. Although it’s customary to begin a story with a wide “establishing” shot, I love the way you opened with a close up of the lantern hanging from the ceiling. It’s a great way to get the viewer curious about what’s to follow. You incorporate a number of other creative angles in your piece. The shots of the computer, the dog, the grill and even the pan over to the house are eye catching. I’m not sure if I should credit you or your shooter. If he/she is responsible, please pass along my compliments. I also like the way you “flipped” through your subjects’ digital photo album to create the feeling that these people have traveled to many places. This method also kept the story moving at an interesting pace.

As someone who has never heard of couch surfing I feel sufficiently informed about the practice. However, I also feel like this is a fairly EASY story to tell. So why not be more creative with your writing? Spend a little more time on your interviews. These people invited you into their home. Maybe they have some interesting adventures they could share with you, as well. I’d like to hear a weird story, if they have one. I’d also like to see some of the people they’ve met, in the photos of course. You make a great effort, as you should, to include natural sound. But the time spent with the computer “nats” might be better put toward a short anecdote from the couple. Or maybe they have some tips for the first time couch surfer?

Your standup suggests that couch surfing could lead to couch squatting. Are there rules in place to prevent this? I know we don’t want to get too serious. Still I think you could play around more with the subject, just as you did with your standup. It’s a great standup, by the way. How lucky were you to have subjects who were game, and could act? Congratulations on creating another captivating story. I’m looking forward to the next.

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